Activeodds Community

Activeodds Community (
-   Relax Cafe (
-   -   Laugh of the Day (

vincent 22nd-October-2008 05:25 PM

Laugh of the Day
little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

the teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, "There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
A Singaporean was on holiday in Malaysia...

He was having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jam at the hotel's
coffee house.

A Malaysian man, who was chewing gum, sat down next to him & started a
casual conversation.

Malaysian : "You Singaporeans eat the whole bread?"

Singaporean : "Of course."

Malaysian: "We don't. In Malaysia, we only eat what's inside.
The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into
croissants & sell them across to Singapore."

The Malaysian then had a smirk on his face while the Singaporean listened
in silence.

Malaysian: "Do you eat the jam with the bread?"

Singaporean : "Of course."

Malaysian (chuckling): "We don't. In Malaysia, we eat fresh fruit for
breakfast, and then we put all the peels, seeds & other
left-overs in a container, recycle them, transform them into jam before we
sell it across to Singapore."

This time, the Singaporean retorted: "Do you have sex in Malaysia?"

Malaysian : "Why, of course we do"

Singaporean : "Do you wear protection"

Malaysian: "Of course! We wear condoms.

Singaporean: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've
used them?"

Malaysian: "Stupid question! Of course we throw them away."

Singaporean: "We don't. In Singapore, the government secretly
puts them in a container, recycle them melt them down into chewing gum &
sell them across to Malaysia... & that's the real reason why we banned
chewing gum in Singapore."

All times are GMT +8. The time now is 08:25 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
No article/s or any portion of this site is to be reproduced in any form or any way without prior permission or written consent from or their respective owners.