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Old 26th-November-2007, 02:58 PM
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keir_grey keir_grey is offline
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Talking Adult Jokes

Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?
A. A navel.

Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"


Q. What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.

Q. Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
A. They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.

Q. What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?
A. Getting fingered by Captain Hook.

Q. What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A. Why are you shaking when she's going to eat me?

Q. What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?
A. We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.

Q. What's the difference between love and herpes?
A. Love doesn't last forever.

Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
A. Call her and tell her.

Q. Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?
A. Because women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.

Q. What's the difference between your paycheck and your cock?
A. You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

Q. What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
A. Brothel sprouts.

Q. What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?
A. A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.

Q. What's white, smells, and can be found in panties?
A. Clitty litter

Q. I married Miss Right.
A. I just didn't know her first name was "Always."

Q. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
A. He worked it out with a pencil.

Q. Who's the world's greatest athlete?
A. The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.

Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Women don't get blow jobs while they're driving

Q. Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week?
A. Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!

Q. Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A. "Is it in?"

Q. How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?
A. If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.

Q. What do you call a woman with her tongue sticking out?
A. A lesbian with a hard-on.

Q. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?
A. They're called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!

Q. What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?
A. Cowboy hats are for ass holes.
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